idealism | Fuda #46 [action]

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this is not the best day. hisoka goes ho

Fuda #46 [action]

[When he woke up, Hisoka was gone.

This was for the better. His partner had finally gotten to go home. Now he would forget how hurt he was after Draco left. Now he would forget how badly Tsuzuki had ruined their partnership. Hisoka deserved that much, to get the chance to be happy again.

Tsuzuki didn't expect the same to become true for him. After all, he was the one that always ended up staying behind.

Thinking too much about it sapped his strength, filling his eyes with tears. There was no point in going outside. He should have let others know that his partner had left, but like with any sort of bereavement, it was much easier to pretend that the problem wasn't there. At least that way he could hold himself together by the fraying edges, trying to keep the yawning loneliness at bay.]

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[Tsuzuki looks down between them, feeling strangely bashful. And ironically, although what Eleytheria says is exactly the opposite of sad, Tsuzuki's tears can't help but fall. It's an emotional day, okay.]

[He sniffs again, resting his head on the back of the couch.]

I'm so glad I met you, Eley. You're a good friend.

[This time the hug doesn't happen because he needs it, but because he wants to show how much it means to him. Tsuzuki doesn't want him to think that his support is somehow not enough.]

...I am?

[For once, for just a moment, he barely registered the hug, just let the man embrace him and sank into the warmth of his arms. It was true that people had called him friend, but he had never really thought about what it meant to be a 'good' friend. That anyone should think that of him was a surprise, albeit not an unwelcome one.

He didn't want to see anymore tears though, good or bad (though to Eley, he assumed all tears to be a negative thing). While he understood the importance of Tsuzuki letting his emotions go, he did hope that it would stop soon as he held him gently, and closed his eyes.]

Our journey is not over, Tsuzuki, remember that. While people may come and go and while we may lose those who are important, we must not forget that there is still more to be done during our own stay.

I for one... am thankful that I can still learn more from you, and more about you. For there is much I do not know.

[Tsuzuki hasn't thought about that. To him, time stands still, so it's impossible to think about a future, much less a happy one. When Eleytheria talks about embracing a new future. he stays silent. It's a beautiful, useful thought in the wake of his misery. Being happy without Hisoka sounds like such a faraway idea.]

[It also felt strange to think that Eley actually wanted to know more about him. Didn't he know that he was worthless? Couldn't even keep his partner safe. Couldn't ever make him happy. Still, he clung to the little hope he had, as if it might be his guide out of the darkness.]

If you stay, I promise that I will tell you everything. There are things I want to know about you, too.

[An exchange of information... It sounded fair enough, though Eley had to wonder just what Tsuzuki was wondering, and if it was something he could answer honestly, if at all. Still, could he really expect his friend to divulge information about himself without giving anything back?

The Spirit would have stayed anyway, at least for a while, but now it seemd that he had even more of a reason to do so. He gives a nod of approval.]

Then I will stay and I will tell you what I can. Though... I should ask you to be patient with me. I am not used to living inside these buildings.

[He was a little embarrassed to admit it but there were a lot of things in these places he'd never encountered before. If he started tinkering with things he didn't understand, things could potentially go very wrong, and he knew it.]

[Tsuzuki is quiet. When he asked him to stay, he had thought in general. Staying in Luceti, not staying in his home. However, the more he thinks about it, the better it sounds. He doesn't want to live in his and Hisoka's apartment with just memories.]

[After another moment, it seems like he's getting control over his emotions. This loss is only one in a line of many. Tsuzuki knows how to suppress it just enough that he won't be a burden on his surroundings. Hisoka is home. That is good. Now that Hisoka's forgotten everything, Tsuzuki will have to try to do the same.]

[Tsuzuki runs his fingers through his hair, looking gratefully at the spirit.]

I understand that. If you need to, we can always try to... I don't know. How can we make it easier for you?

[What could they do? Eley looked around the room as if trying to work out an answer from what he had around him.]

Well... to begin with there are many human machines I have never seen before. It may be wise to show me what to do with them while I stay here, or at least warn me about which ones not to touch.

[See? He knows his curiosity will get the better of him and if what's happened in the past is any indication, he'd end up hurting himself somehow.]

As for being inside, I find it a little more tolerable if the windows are open. Though I know it is cold now, so you may not wish to do that. Perhaps if I turn my focus to you, it will not be so bad.

[Tsuzuki's grateful for the distraction. He gets to his feet, wiping his face with the back of his hand. No more tears.]

I'll survive. How about we look at the bedrooms? Maybe one of them have bigger windows you can open.

[The small smile that blooms on his face is genuine, at least. In the middle of all this madness, he has forgotten how cute Eley could be.]

I can show you the toaster afterwards. That and the oven are the only things you should be careful with.

Ah, yes. That does sound like a good idea.

[He responds, getting to his feet himself. He's glad to see Tsuzuki up again, even smiling, even if he knows that things are likely to be difficult for him for some time. Seeing him so desperately sad... it hurt.]

I have at least some knowledge of the oven, though I have never used it myself, or unsupervised.

[He tilts his head a little.]

But there is a device used solely for toasting objects?

That's okay. I've used the oven several times, so I can show you how not to burn things.

[The loss will hurt a while. After all, Hisoka reminded him that it was possible to trust people without them being disgusted with him. It is better for the empath to be back home. At least then he won't be subjected to Tsuzuki's moods, a victim to the feelings of someone who feels down so often. It is a kindness to Hisoka to be sent home.]

[Whether it is a kindness to Tsuzuki, remains to be seen. In the meantime, he can make do with improvising, pretending he is happy. If Eleytheria will spend time with him, maybe he won't have to pretend so much. Especially if they're going to talk about food and inventions. He happily drags Eley towards the kitchen.]I'll show you later, ok? We can have supper.

[Eley doesn't protest much, not only because he wants to find out what Tsuzuki's up to himself, but because he feels he should perhaps be a bit more lenient towards the man for now and let him enjoy himself as he pleases. So he goes with Tsuzuki into the kitchen to find out exactly what his friend has in mind.

At least he'd used the oven before, or they might be in trouble when it comes to food. No, Tsuzuki had assured the Spirit that he knew what he was doing, and Eley trusted him enough to accept it.]

What exactly does 'having supper' involve?

[Okay so he wasn't exactly clued up on how people separated their meals...]

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Fuda #46 [action]

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