idealism | Fuda #33 . reaching out [video]

Entry tags:

Fuda #33 . reaching out [video]

I don't suppose anyone here is good at chopping wood? And heaving lifting.

[If anyone thinks that's a loaded question: it definitely is. For a couple of days now he's been working on a campsite, and it's a lot more work - and a lot less fun - than he expected. It's great at keeping his mind off of less pleasant thoughts, however. Working out usually is.]

[Later in the day, he makes a post that he hasn't looked forward to. His little Luceti family has shrunk so much lately. Tsuzuki knows that it's for the best - that going home is good for them - but he still can't help missing them.]

Link's gone home. He's left letters for some people.

I just felt like some people ought to know.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only | Expand All

No, I do. I shouldn't have said any of that.

Tsuzuki, stop.

[He does as he's told, pressing his lips together. It's obvious that he's struggling with it.

Even if he understand that talking more will only make it worse, he can't help himself from wanting contact. He squeezes Hisoka's hand, his underlying love bleeding through like color dye in water. Tsuzuki doesn't want him to think he doesn't love him because of this.]

[Hisoka yanks his hand away, eyes squeezed tightly shut. It's too much and too hard and the extra contact is just confusing things worse than ever!]

I can't do this right now.

[Tsuzuki withdraws his hand once he's realizing that he's hurting him instead of helping him. It was never is intention to hurt Hisoka in this way. Ever! The fact that he just did only proves to him what a terrible idea it was to have this conversation.]

You don't have to. I understand.

[Above all, it makes Hisoka feel guilty. They'd come all the way out here for Tsuzuki's sake, to give him a place of peace and tranquility in the midst of a strenuous time for him. And then Hisoka was oversensitive again, making everyone feel worse than ever. It hurts, but there are still no words to describe it.]

Can't things just stay like they are? Why do you want to change everything?

I don't want to change everything. Some things are really nice.

Like what?

Knowing you'll be there. It's really nice when I wake up and you've snuck into bed with me. And it makes me happy to see that you're happy here.

I don't want to change you, you know. I'd miss old Hisoka too much then.

[He rubs at his face, unsure where his hands should even go.]

then why do we keep having conversations like this?

I guess because I don't know when to keep my big mouth shut.

[He sighs]

Please stop feeling like that.

I can't help it. I don't like it when you get this upset.

I'm not upset!

[He clears his throat, which sounds suspiciously amused.]

Is that right?

Of course it is.

[He's not convinced. This is a charade that he knows they're doing because they both need it.]

I guess that if you really were upset, you would have punched me by now.

You're really close to needing a good solid punch right now.

I'm not! How mean.

[At least, when he begins his kicked-puppy-routine, it's not based on his feelings, it's closer to playing a part in a game.]

Call it whatever you want, but it's the truth.

You wouldn't hit me. I'm too cute.

[To seal his fate, he tickles him.]

[NO TICKLES. Hitting now.]

Ow! [He is laughing as he uses one hand to hold Hisoka back. Some hits are worth it.]

It's not funny!

It is, just a little.

[He takes a hold of Hisoka's hand to check his knuckles for bruises.]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]