idealism | Fuda #45 [video]

Fuda #45 [video]

[Locked from Hisoka Kurosaki by 20%]

I have a request to make. I understand if you don't want to, but I figured I'd try anyway.

In a couple of days, a really good friend of mine celebrates his birthday. Now, he hasn't had a good year. I 'd throw him a party, but he made me promise not to. But he didn't make me promise this. So.

If you see him on the 18th, would you wish him a happy birthday?

[Tsuzuki runs his fingers through his hair, wondering how to proceed. He grabs a piece of paper and a pencil.]

His name is Hisoka and he's normally not very talkative. Uhm. Doesn't smile a lot? He looks like this. Sort of. Anyway, I think he'd really appreciate it.

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[Since the week of paradise, Hisoka's been a bit more withdrawn than usual. It was a bit of a violation to be magically abused as a gear in someone else's wish-fulfillment machine, but it was also a period where speech was unnecessary. It's been difficult to return to the world of boundaries and separate bodies.

He approaches Tsuzuki as he writes, holding out the cat with both arms, head tilting curiously. Was the cat fed yet today? He's not sure.]

[Unlike Hisoka, The week of paradise improved Tsuzuki's desire to be social. It had reminded him that at one point in his life, he had people that loved him, and it was enough to make him remember who he was before Luceti happened.

With a bit of a start, Tsuzuki pulls his journal to him, leaving the drawing exposed. His partner wasn't supposed to know of his plans, that would ruin them.]

Hey, 'Soka.

[It catches him off guard that Hisoka is carrying their cat, but the question is clear enough. They really need to work out a schedule between them.]

No, I fed him yesterday. Is he hungry?

[He shakes his head. He doesn't think so. It's hard to tell with cats. Instead, he climbs into the seat beside Tsuzuki, uncharacteristically eager for contact.

Remember that time they merged powers, Partner? That was good. Maybe that's a thing that can happen again.

...Except he's not at all telepathic, so he mostly just burrows closer, ignoring whatever ill-conceived art that might have happened. If Tsuzuki wants to play with crayons, it's probably not his business.]

[Hisoka has been so quiet since they reunited that Tsuzuki doesn't know what to make of it. It's enough to make him worry, sometimes, that his partner is hurt and simply can't tell him.]

I can feed him when we make lunch, so don't worry about it, okay?

[As Hisoka leans close, Tsuzuki automatically wraps his arm around his shoulder and hugs him. The fact that Hisoka is still there, after all the bad things that has happened, only proves to Tsuzuki how lucky he is. If Hisoka were to want to synch, it doesn't take much. Tsuzuki's soul has always open to him, even if he doesn't always intend for it to be.]

[He nods into the hug, closing his eyes and letting out a soft sigh. It's warm here, curled up close to Tsuzuki's heart. The contact soothes him tremendously.

Only then does he reach to the table for the the drawing, tapping it expectantly. Answers, please?]

[Hisoka is still the one closest to his heart, so the position is appropriate. It has the same relaxing effect on Tsuzuki, who doesn't know what to think about Hisoka's clinginess. On one hand it makes him glad that Hisoka feels safe enough with him to rely on him. Maybe it's his way of dealing with that whole week he didn't see him.

His gaze following Hisoka's hand, he feels a flash of embarrassment.]

It's supposed to be you. Drawing with crayons is harder than it looks. Want to try?

[He shakes his head no, because drawing with crayons is stupid. It would also require separating again, which he's simply not ready to do. Why would anyone want to? He nuzzles Tsuzuki's chest with his cheek once more in emphasis. Less talking and more this.]

[The crayons are mentioned because they're Tsuzuki's way of reaching out to him. People that refuse to talk sometimes respond better through body language or drawing, and he doesn't want Hisoka to feel like he's isolated.

His partner has a special talent for making him soft, and the cuddling is especially good at tugging at his heartstrings. Tsuzuki sighs softly, brushing his fingers through Hisoka's feathers. They don't need to talk to communicate, not when it really matters.]

....I missed you.

[More head-shaking. Tsuzuki shouldn't have been capable of missing him! He'd been so sure to make sure his partner was pampered, even beyond the veil of skewed priorities during that period. Why would Tsuzuki say something that wasn't true?]

[ Even when surrounded by perfect happiness, he still wanted Hisoka to be there. His partner was many things, but replaceable was not one of them. It was simply hard for him to think about that, especially when he suddenly had the opportunity to see his sister again.
He needed that time to remember how much love he was surrounded with back home, but although it swept him up in affection and made sure he felt loved, he needed someone to share that feeling with. Someone that wasn't family, but could be.]

[Tsuzuki smiles down at him, resting his hand on his back instead of his wing. Now that he's sane again, the thought of having a perfect life but not having Hisoka there, makes him want to cry.]

Of course I did. It's not the same without you.

[He frowns, resorting to charades to egt his point across. He gives Tsuzuki a pointed look and runs his fingers along the curve of his partner's cheek. Tears? Now? Unacceptable.]

[It's not hard to understand what Hisoka means. Tsuzuki smiles apologetically, giving his shoulder a pat. It's fortunate that he doesn't have to explain to his partner that they're not tears of sadness.]

I'm sorry.

[He looks down to avoid the scrutiny.]

I wish you could have met her, you know. I think you would have liked her.

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Fuda #45 [video]

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