idealism | Fuda # 12 [Action/video]

For now. [He'll even be accepting Tsuzuki's closeness, sinking back to settle in his arms. He's messed up enough to not care that they're officially cuddling in the middle of the living room. here are more important things.]

It can't get worse than outside. [Tsuzuki's response is slow, because he's getting lost in his own thoughts, but he pulls Hisoka into a hug. No one in the house will care. They'll be too busy recovering from their own visions.]

Of course it can. [But the hug is nice enough to keep him settled for now.]

Then we better enjoy it while it lasts. [There's a stray tear sliding down his cheek, although Tsuzuki doesn't seem to notice. He was too shell-shocked to properly reach when they were outside, so all of it's crashing down on him now. Getting a hug helps, at least.]

[He settles against Tsuzuki, clinging as he's being clung to. The only thing he knows for sure right now is that he's here with Tsuzuki, and that he needs to keep awake and alert enough to not lose sight of that again. It might be a long couple of nights for them both.]

[Some very long nights. Having Hisoka close helps. He just needs a moment to digest seeing the visions of people he had lost a long time ago.]

[He closes his eyes and tries to wish his tears away, if only for Hisoka's benefit.]...Sorry.

Don't be. [He's never really minded sharing Tsuzuki's pain. He even goes so far as to wipe at his partner's eyes, nestling his head against Tsuzuki's shoulder and bringing his face terribly close as a gesture of trust.]

[Tsuzuki wishes that he hadn't seen the bloody nightmares in the mist. It opened up a path in his memory that he doesn't want to go down.]

[At least Hisoka's presence grounds him safely in the moment. He appreciates the gestures more than he can say, but since he's already a little fragile it simply means he cries more. With a small sniffle, he cradles Hisoka close.] I feel so useless.

Ssh... [He strokes at Tsuzuki's hair, fingers giving his bangs a light petting.] You're not useless. I need you. Understand?

[Tsuzuki leans into the touch, afraid that it's just another illusion. Hesitantly, he nods. His emotions might already reveal what he feels towards his partner, but he decides to say it out loud as well.] I need you, too.

Good. [And before he knows what he's doing, his lips are pressing just under Tsuzuki's mouth.]

[It's unexpected, not welcome. He blinks away tears, wondering if he imagined the kiss or not.]

[Tsuzuki hesitates. He pays close attention to Hisoka's next move, since that will tell whether he should act on it or pretend the kiss never happened. He realizes that it took quite a lot of courage of his partner, so he rubs his back.]

[It was intentional, sort of, though he doesn't repeat it, instead settling back down on Tsuzuki's chest and looking up into his deep violet stare. He assumes the message was properly conveyed.]

[He may act like an imbecile, but he understands important gestures like this. Tsuzuki holds Hisoka's gaze. He rarely get a chance to do it, so he treasures it. Thanks for creating this island of peace in the middle of a nightmare, Hisoka.]

I love you, too.

[Likewise, partner.]

[There's a tiny whisper of something on Hisoka's face that tries and fails to be a smile. He nods instead.]

[Tsuzuki knows that he went past their comfort zones by admitting that, but after tonight he felt it was necessary to tell Hisoka that just once.]

[He also knows that Hisoka's nod is as close he comes to saying anything in return, and that is all right.]

[OOC: already and another's a shiki that I purposely miscolored because there weren't as many baby!Hisoka scenes as I thought there were. >>;; I forget which one BUT STILL.]

[He clings a little tighter, snuggles somewhat, and closes his eyes to try finding some semblance of sleep, as much as he's aware that it won't happen.]

[He runs his fingers slowly through Hisoka's hair, keeping his eyes open just in case the house springs a trap on them. But his eyelids are getting heavier.]

[Tsuzuki moves his partner between him and the back of the couch, so he won't fall out of their make-shift raft.]

[OOC: manga -- ilu so much. <33 And will be coloring more now :3 /is so bad at it BUT PAINTING ON LINEART. --Or maybe I'll just type that and color for a couple of hours and not actually write the reply. I NEED TO STAY ON POINT. :|]

[He tries to let himself calm down in tandem with Tsuzuki like he normally does, but it's harder when he's this jumpy. His eyes shoot open when Tsuzuki decides to move him, half-expecting to be somewhere else once he pays attention again.]

Edited 2010-11-11 08:45 (UTC)

[Hisoka can be so transparent sometimes. Tsuzuki simply continues to hold him, offering his partner strength.]

Don't worry. I won't let anything bad touch you.

[OOC: mind sharing which chapter they came from I would love you forever? xD I'm trying to sneak in a review of his family stuff on the side. >>]

Yeah. Likewise. [Because he's pretty much decided to never sleep again ever, so if someone tries to stab Tsuzuki while he's asleep, Hisoka'll be ON TOP OF IT.]

[ooc: here! (http://manga.animea.net/yami-no-matsuei-chapter-59-page-1.html) Does that help any? I'm trying to find his crazy dream about his sister's grave, too.]

[Tsuzuki radiates surprised, warm delight. After his bad luck with past partners, luxuries like having someone to watch his back is not taken for granted. Hisoka is proving to be one of his better partners. He brushes his fingers through Hisoka's feathers.] ...Thank you, 'Soka.

[OOC: And the dead sistergrave dream is the one I found -- it's where the Hisoka-and-the-bunny icon came from. I love that bunny so much. ;_;]

[His cheeks color in response to Tsuzuki's abrupt happiness, though he's nowhere near smiling himself.] Yeah. Whatever. Don't worry about it.

[ooc: Great! Man, the idea of him having a bunny-teddy is one of the sweetest things ever. Will he have one when he comes back as a kid, or will he have lost it?]

[His tail curls around them both as he calms down. Tsuzuki's whole body shows signs of his long-suppressed fatigue.] Hisoka, why do you think that your costume became a dress?

[OOC: to be willing to touch at first. xD]

Why do the Malnosso do any of the things they do? They never make sense.

[Action] <33333!!

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[Action] <33333!! I made baby!Hisoka icons today~ /is taking the worst hiatus

[Action] <33333!! Oooh, I want to see!

[Action] <33333!! Oh, they're uploaded already. xD Even though one of them might be Hijiri I forgot

Re: [Action] <33333!! I Just went and looked at your icons just in case. So cute, aww. <3

[Action] <33333!! THANK YOU FOR THOSE SCANS bawww so cute. T_T You're so encyclopedic about the

Re: [Action] <33333!! You're welcome! :x Is there anything else you want iconed for ickl!Soka?

[Action] <33333!! I think he's good for the like two weeks I'll be using them, but if you wouldn't

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[Action] <33333!! It helps TONS this is what I was looking for. :D

[Action] <33333!! then my work here is done! :D

[Action] <33333!! Oh he's DEFINITELY coming with that bunny. I think it's the only thing he's going