idealism | Fuda #33 . reaching out [video]

[Regardless of how he looks, he's not about to uncurl any time soon.]

...Oh. Well. Do what you want.

[He doesn't really know what he had expected Hisoka to say, but a small part of him had hoped he'd tell him to stay.

If that pose doesn't scream "get away from me", Tsuzuki doesn't know what. He takes a step back, clasping his hands on his back.]

You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. Don't worry.

All right. So. Sit back down already, jeez.

[He needed to hear that, to know he hadn't pushed too hard. The warmth he feels from hearing that is almost as good as a hug. Tsuzuki ducks his head and takes his spot again.] Sure.

[Tsuzuki's welcome to settle, though Hisoka doesn't move any closer to him or offer conversation topic. He's helpful like that.]

[He can't just sit there and not reach out for him. It would be like watching him crumble without doing something to help.]

Hisoka.

[Tsuzuki kneels down in front of him, placing a hand on his knee.]

Hug?

What? [He lifts his head.] Why?

Because sometimes they help.

[He inches closer, looking fairly like a puppy that's been kicked.]

That's silly.

You shouldn't say it'd silly until you've tried it.

[He continues to inch just a little closer, finally wrapping his arms around Hisoka's shoulders.]

[He accepts it, though he doesn't return it. There's no point.]

[The point is to make a safe spot, wrapped in his arms. Tsuzuki's emotions are as transparent as glass. He's needy enough that he gets anxious when Hisoka closes off to chase old ghosts. Don't leave. Don't go where I can't follow. is the message that seems to echo in his mind as he rests his cheek against Hisoka's temple.]

[He sighs, sinking into Tsuzuki's arms.]

...Idiot. I'm not going anywhere.

[He nods. Tsuzuki knows that Hisoka is too stubborn to leave, even if he doesn't entirely let himself believe that he will stay. Everyone leaves eventually. But it is still sweet of Hisoka to reassure him, and it does sate some of his yearning for closeness. He adjust his position so they're sitting a little more comfortable, since Tsuzuki's not willing to let go yet. Gently, he strokes his back.]

I don't want to, either.

I already know that. You stayed that whole month. [Or however long it was that he'd been gone.]

Of course I did. Why shouldn't I?

You could've given up and gone on with your life.

No, I couldn't.

[It's as easy as that.]

[Silence then. He has no idea how someone should reply to something like that.]

[He doesn't have to reply in words. Tsuzuki feels the reply in the fact that they're hugging now. When they first met they could hardly be close to one another.]

But it's good advice. Just... not for me.

[He sighs.]

Do you plan on holding on to Link like that?

He wasn't my partner.

[He looks out at the water. It's not just Link that he misses. Sheik, Hijiri and Duo were just as much a part of their little family.]

I'm going to miss him, but I don't think he would have liked that.

None of them would've.

But everyone has to pass on sometime, right?

[His wings stretch slowly, which is the only outwardly sign that this isn't a subject he's happy with.]

He's not dead.

No, but he's where he's supposed to be. Might as well be the same thing as far as we're concerned.

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]

[Action]